We're Officially Washington Bound!

I mentioned a few posts back that August was a really rough month for me. I think the hardest part of it all was knowing how much Perry wanted this job and how much I soul searching I had to do in the days following our trip to Seattle.

I've only dropped a few hints about what lies ahead for us, but one morning in late July, I woke up to a text message from Perry saying, "There's an opening in Portland. Should I apply?" I literally could only respond with "uhhh...." and left it at that. A couple weeks later, he had his first interview and before their first round interviews were even over with, they already had Perry booking a ticket to fly out to Portland for a second interview. Now he's super confident about the job and starting to "tie up loose ends" around the house. In fact, while I was away at the funeral in Washington, he was busy at home cleaning every room in the house so he could start taking pictures to sell it. HE HADN'T EVEN SECOND INTERVIEWED YET! And yet he has the nerve to tell me to relax, because he doesn't have the job yet. Still, when I arrive home to a spotless house, all I want to do is cry because not only am I still emotionally drained from all the crying that week + the funeral + now I know my mom has cancer + I'm sick. To top it off, Perry was leaving the next day for his second interview and all I wanted was a shoulder to cry on and vent to.

He was in Portland for two whole days and part of Wednesday, and they some how ran out of time to actually interview him, so he and the district manager and the regional manager did a lot of talking about the job, but ultimately I think he came back a bit discouraged. It's hard not to get caught up in the roller coaster of emotions too - excitement of moving but fear of moving - wanting to but not wanting to at the same time. He ended up having his interview the next week when he was home and it went well so he was again pretty sure he had the job.

Around the same time frame, I had the "dispute" with my neighbor which made me hole up in my house for quite some time. I was furious that someone could yell at me the way she did and have no care what-so-ever for her surroundings. I couldn't leave my house without my heart racing, pounding out of my chest. Just having her text me was enough to send me into an anxiety attack. I didn't even have to read what she wrote. I remember looking down at my chest during one of my anxiety attacks and being able to see my shirt moving from my heart pounding. But you know what? In retrospect I'm kind of glad it happened, because it really helped me to sort out why I wanted to move, and why I didn't.

I don't want to say my neighbors made me want to move, but the whole thing + new years + my birthday just made me hate where I lived. I do also have neighbors that I don't want to leave behind, but just knowing how anxious I was to leave my house was really weighing on my decision.

Over the Labor Day weekend, we visited Em and Colin in their new house and on the way out, Perry had his final interview. At the end of the call, his regional manager told him to take the weekend to discuss moving with me and to let him know by Wednesday the following week. It consumed my mind the entire weekend. It was hard to relax because it's all anyone could talk about. We debated driving down to the Portland area just so I could have a feel of it, but I decided against it, even though I'd be moving to a city I've never been to.

Ms. Gail started pre-school on Tuesday following Labor Day, so after we dropped her off we went home to really talk about whether or not we were going to take the job or not. By that point I was really torn. Part of me wanted to stay because it would be easier to stay, but part of me also wanted to go do new things - get more life experience. I recall talking with Robin about how I felt like I was ready to move way back in June or July. Now the opportunity was there, and I didn't know how to feel about it.

Ultimately by the time the morning was over, Perry decided hastily that if I couldn't make up my mind about staying or going, we were going to stay. He didn't want to move his family when I wasn't 100% in it. It was a valid point. I spent the rest of the afternoon coming to terms with the fact that he was going to turn the job down the next day. The more I carried on with my "normal" life -going shopping and such - the more stressed I started to feel. I realized that while Perry was okay with staying, I knew how much he wanted to better himself, and I knew I'd have to make amends with my neighbors, and I wasn't sure I really wanted to do that for the 3rd time in a year. I thought about the people I knew in town that I'd be leaving behind, and it's sad that after 10 years, I'm not leaving too many people behind. When I began to start telling myself that we were going to move, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. A sense of relief that really confused me. Wasn't I supposed to feel relieved knowing I wouldn't have to uproot my life and start over? Shouldn't the thought of moving stress me out a bit? It was just the opposite though. Later that afternoon, I discussed with Perry my confusion and we both agreed that we needed to go.

Everything has been a blur since. It was decided a week later that Perry would start on October 24th, which was roughly 5 weeks away. Between me finishing up the last few weekends of work, and the boys' soccer season, our weekends with dad were very limited. A week before we left to take Perry to Oregon, we put out house up for sale. God has literally been opening doors left and right for us throughout this whole moving process too. Our listing went live around 2:00p on October 11th, and by the end of the night we had 3 showings, and 5 scheduled for the next day. That next evening we sat down with our realtor and went over 6 offers, and chose one that offered $15k over our asking price. I might have started crying a little...

The following week we took both vehicles to Seattle and stayed with Em and Colin again. Left the kids there on Wednesday, and headed south to Portland to start our tour of homes. We looked at 12 the first day and 3 the next. The house we ended up putting in an offer on was one we weren't even going to look at originally, but decided to at the last minute. During our walk-through, I couldn't help but get excited about it. It was built in '79 and needs a few updates, but has pretty much everything we were looking for - master suite with bathroom and walk-in closet, large lot, quiet area, workspace for Perry's tools... Again, I started crying a bit when I realized this was probably going to be our home. No others really came close. There was always something that was a deal breaker, like a *super* sloped driveway/road, or no yard, or near the highway so all you hear is traffic... We did find another house the next day that was HUGE at 4500 square feet, but it was really quirky. The fridge was in the garage and not the kitchen? There was no tubs at all in the house? There was so many additions that there was siding on the inside of the house. We were a little torn because we loved how much space there was.

I'm in my final days here at our house on Small Lane, and it's a little bittersweet. I'm excited to be moving, and am really surprised I'm not more stressed that I am, considering the process it's been to close on this house and our new house. Both have work to be done prior to closing. Tomorrow night through the rest of the week, I'll be staying at my mom's house with the kids and then returning over the weekend to get a few things done before officially moving in with my mom next week. Perry has put in two full weeks of work and will be staying with my cousin until we close on our new house at the end of the month. I'm hoping to fly out to help unpack a bit and get him settled in. Pick out carpet and such... But the kids and I will be staying with my mom until Christmas so there is less traveling back and forth between the two places, since Christmas will be in Missoula. Perry is flying back for Christmas and then driving back with us. It'll be SO nice to see him again! The kids miss him so much already!

7 more weeks....