Summer Camp is Over Already

We’re just getting started on week two of summer break and I’m still an emotional wreck. I thought I was just having a little anxiety about camp last week, but it proved to be more than that.

It wasn’t just one thing that did it but a bunch of little things I suppose, but HD was sent home from camp yesterday. The previous week he didn’t want to participate in dance so he got in trouble for not participating 100% of the time. By the end of the week, he had a crummy attitude but nothing was said to me behavior wise. He didn’t want to do his insulin shot Friday afternoon at the park, so I left work to dose him. He said he tried but it hurt and didn’t want to try again. Totally don’t blame him. But he was in trouble because he didn’t want to do it, which led him to leave his medical stuff out, which also got him in trouble. I don’t know if they forgot he is a child still, and NEEDS HELP. He’s not the most organized kid in the world. When they said can’t help him with his stuff, they clearly meant it.

Come Monday morning for the start of week two, I dropped him off at camp and they assured me everything was good to go medically. I received a call at lunch to help his leader correctly dose him as he had been running a bit high. (He was also running high last week, but I felt okay about it because I didn’t know how active he was going to be.) An hour later, the camp director calls to tell me he needs picked up because he’s not listening and is hiding from his camp leader when she says it’s time to get his blood sugar checked. I picked him up shortly there after and broke down crying as we were leaving. I believe I said something along the lines of, “I signed him up for camp  so I would know he was safe and having fun. And now I have to take him to an empty home and hope that he doesn’t have a low while I’m gone because the last thing I want to do is come home to a dead child.” I might have been being a little dramatic, but I feel like I’m in a constant state of worry and it sucks.

I later received a long email from the director stating allll the reasons why he had to leave and that he couldn’t come back until a behavior plan was in place, most which happened the week before. I also needed to go over his diabetes care with them again because I was telling them things that were different than in his doctor notes. I don’t know what things though?  She gave me the email and phone number of the person who is in charge of behavior plans. I sent an email and then called to check in later this morning to find out the status on camp, since both Perry and I had work today. Turns out the lady is ON VACATION this week. Freaking awesome. I was not impressed when I found that out later in the afternoon. They could tell I didn’t need to be messed with anymore and thankfully refunded my money for both the kids for the rest of the week.

But the whole thing is frustrating for me. We’re still new to diabetes. I don’t know everything there is to know about it yet, so I don’t expect HD to know either. He’s taken it upon himself to try to understand how to read nutrition labels and I’m so so proud of him for that. From the time we were released from the hospital, we have only had a handful of blood sugar readings above his range of 150, let alone above 200, which is when we give him extra insulin to bring it back down. I feel good knowing that he’s in range a lot. But because of that, we haven’t really experienced what having high blood sugar does to him behaviorally. All last week and yesterday he had high numbers, so I can’t help but to think his crummy attitude and his high numbers were related. At the same time, it’s hard to figure out what is sensory vs what is high blood sugar.

The whole thing is frustrating and overwhelming. I’m emotionally drained. I looked it and felt it today. I needed a hug from someone. I needed someone to tell me everything was going to be okay. This journey is really isolating. Thankfully I don’t have to work for the rest of the week. I’m looking forward to going to the beach this weekend. I need a little rest and relaxation.