Sunday, March 11, 2018

About My New Job

January flew by and now February is long gone too. What the heck?! We're only two months into the new year and I am now THIRTY years old and recently just started on a new career path outside of the hotel world. Huge change for me! I love just knowing stuff and being valuable so starting work in a completely different industry has taken quite the toll on me.

For Christmas, I bought myself a new Bullet Journal and have been using it to track a variety of things, one being my mood. In my mood tracker for January, the entire first week was all purple, notating stress/anxiety/worry. I expected that with a new job, but oh my goodness! There is so much to learn and I feel I've only scratched the surface. My last day working the overnight shift at the hotel was on Christmas night. Honestly, I was surprised I lasted 5 months. They were kind of a blur as I was always tired. So I'm happy to report that now that I'm working during the day, I'm sleeping a lot better at night! (I had been struggling with sleep for about a year before I decided to work at night.) I'm happy my sleep patterns are much more normal now. Overall my mood tracker was mostly yellow, depicting happy/satisfied/okay for a good portion of the month so hooray for that! February was fairly similar, except for the bout of flu that hit our house during the middle of month...

Because I now work for the same company my husband does, we can't work in the same store, for HR reasons. With that said, he's worked in my store twice now since I've been there. (He's overseeing the store I work out of while the search for a new center manager continues.) The first time he was there, I had a little anxiety attack when he arrived. Watching him walk around the store and taking notes, all the while observing the staff, was a roll in which I had just envisioned him doing, and now that I was watching him do it (and observing me!) I found him to be intimidating. Yes. I found my husband to be intimidating.

A few days later, my store ran out of trash bags (how does that happen?!) so a team member had me call my husband's store to ask if they could send some over to us. I have talked to my husband an uncountable number of times on the phone, but when I had to call him at work about work, I again had a wave of anxiety wash over me. He answered the phone, and I panicked a bit, and said, "HI this is Sadie from the Cascade Park store..." I'm happy that my phone training and supply sharing rendezvous was with Perry, but at the end of the call, he added, "Now that you know how to use the phones, you can pound pound me any time you want to baby." It was a play on words because to dial store to store you simply hit ## and the store number, but I was immediately mortified that my husband said that to me at work. My heart was already racing and my palms were sweating so for him to end the call with that...My co-workers could easily see how frazzled I was!

I was working out of my store last week (I often work out of others stores in Portland to get the hours my store can't give me) and I took a step out of my comfort zone and answered the phone. It was Perry, except I thought he said Larry or Terry at Lloyd Center, so I didn't process that I was talking with MY HUSBAND until the end of the call when he said, "It was nice talking to you Sadie at Cascade Park." I felt like an idiot as I wandered off to retrieve the person he called for. He gets me so flustered!

I've had several anxiety filled days, but overall I'm mostly enjoying my new job. Primarily, I work in shipping and help out in our self-serve area when people need help running the copiers or the fax machines. The elderly customers really like me :) I do get a little anxious at the thought of working at other stores though because I'm not knowledgeable in printing. Most of the stores I fill in at make most of their revenue from their printing department and only do a handful of shipments each day. The store I work out of normally, typically, needs at least two people to man the shipping station during the day, so I'm getting very confident when it comes to shipping, but have only dabbled in the printing side of things. I feel really useless when I go to other stores not being able to help out over there.

In other news, Ms. Gail *finally* received her FedEx costume in the mail last week, and it was the BEST THING EVER! She was so so so cute! She also decided she doesn't want to have kids because she really wants to be a mailman when she grows up, and apparently having kids wouldn't allow her to do so! Hahaha!

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Home for the Holidays

I kind of can't believe I haven't posted on my blog in over a month! I missed HD's NINTH birthday and Christmas fun. Who am I?! To my credit though, January had been a whirlwind of a month. 

We hadn't had Christmas at our own home since HD was one year old, which means JP and Ms. Gail hadn't celebrated Christmas in their own home, ever. My babies won't be babies much longer so it was important to me that we stay home and have a low holiday at our *new* home. 

HD would not stop bugging me about making cookies for Santa so I had him make them, under my direction. I was a little surprised his siblings didn't want to do any of the cookie cutter portion, but HD did great on his own. 
While Perry and I did some holiday baking in preparation of Christmas day. I was in charge of making eggnog and Kringler and Perry worked on getting a Strada together for breakfast. (This was my second attempt at eggnog and I was impatient during the cooling process, and inadvertently cooked the egg whites... It wouldn't be Christmas without me messing something up.) 
In the meantime, I had the kids work on making Strawberry Santas. It was hard to not micromanage them because I wanted them to look perfect, but they turned out cute anyway. I feel like there should have been more, but they must have been eaten out of excitement. 
We had a skiff of snow on 24th and HD was SO SO HAPPY about it. Literally a skiff and he was out making snow angels on the deck! He spent the rest of the morning collecting and eating it. 
Despite my exhaustion from working the overnight shift, we still managed to get the cookies frosted.
I really enjoyed watching Ms. Gail decorate hers. We ended up with several that had sprinkles overload. (That bottle was full...)
You know she had requested we bake her a few cat cookies to decorate...
 JP took a lot of time decorating his cookies. He did the snowman on the left and Ms Gail did the snowman on the right (obviously) but when Perry asked who did *this* snowman, JP let his sister take credit for his cookie while he sat back and smirked to himself. He's such a sweet brother.
I was a little surprised as to how long HD stuck with decorating cookies too as well as the time he spent on each one. 

I had to work the overnight shift on Christmas eve, which sucked, but ah well. Knowing the kids would wake up early, we had them sleep in our bathroom closet so they couldn't raid the presents without us. It sounds weird, but if you were to see our closet, it's HUGE and they love it! I made it home by 7:30am and crawled into bed after I realized *everyone* was still sound asleep. I managed to get a good 45 minutes of rest before I started to hear whispering and footsteps. 

Originally Santa was going to leave their presents upstairs by the fire place, but since the fire place was too hot from the fire the night before, he went through the other chimney and ended up in the basement. (Honestly, I just didn't want to be cooped up in the master bedroom while we had a livingroom we could spread out in to open our stockings.) After we made a mess of the livingroom, we raced to the basement to see what Santa left. HD was given his own toolbox, complete with tools, JP was excited to get a build-your-own car, and Ms. Gail received the bean bag she really really wanted. Knowing everyone was going to end up with a Nerf gun, Santa also left Nerf guns for mom and dad. Super high powered ones too! The boys didn't think that fair... Perry's nerf gun held 36 darts, and shot them three at a time. Mine had a reloadable cartridge that holds 12 darts. Before we started opening presents from under the tree, we had a nerf war. 
To determine who would get to open the first present, the kids had to find the glass pickle and Ms Gail was winner. Her brothers were not impressed. 
Perry helped her pick out the best one to start with. 
We had such a relaxing morning in our new Christmas jammies. All the kids were really good about taking turns. I loved watching their expressions as they opened all their gifts. HD had me open his present as one of the firsts to be opened. Earlier the week before he drew a really cool picture of a ship with a scuba diver and coral reef and shark. I loved it and loved all the little details he added. However that afternoon, he became upset with me and ripped it up. I expressed how hurt I was about that because he knew I was wanting to keep it. With out me knowing, he taped it back together, the best he could on his own, wrapped it up, and gave it to me for Christmas. I about started bawling. So this is one of the only pictures I'm in and I'm just starting to open it. 

JP even got in on the joy of giving when he wrapped up one of his hot wheels cars to give to his sister. She opened it and exclaimed, "Oh I love it! You're the best brother! This one is my favorite too!" To which he responded with, "Now we can play cars together." She then proceeded to hug him. He acted like it was killing him, but I know he was loving it. It was so sweet to watch!
I enjoyed all the snuggles throughout the morning. I was *so so* tired come 1:00 so I passed out on the couch for a while. When I woke up, we played with the nerf guns some more. To go along with their nerf guns, we gave the boys a 100 count bag of GI Joes to aim at. We had fun lining them up and shooting them down. JP has pretty good aim!
When we came out of church on Christmas eve, the ground was COVERED in snow and it was so nice to have snow on Christmas! I was not looking forward to driving to work in it though... 
On another note, it looks like Ms. Gail needs a new pair of snowpants! These were size 18 months but she insisted they would still work! 

Friday, December 29, 2017

Miss Gail's Christmas Concert + Fire Station Field Trip

Miss Gail had her first Christmas program a few weeks ago and it took an entire day to get it uploaded to share. She was so so sweet!

Just a few days before their program, her preschool class met up at Target and everyone purchased a toy to take over to the fire station to give to kids in need. I got the pleasure of corralling three of the four girls in the class. They were fun though!

While at the fire station, the kids were able to check out the fire trucks and see all the fire fighting gear. Such a treat for them!

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Miss Gail's First Jamboree

You guys. Miss Gail had her first gymnastics jamboree on Sunday and it was ADORABLE!  
Because of the limited number of seating, and not being able to bring HD & JP into the gym with us, we opted to leave them at home and pay them each ONE dollar for good behavior. It worked. We left them with dad's phone and they didn't call us at all (or answer when we called and text). The spent their hour alone playing Legos and watching football. Proud day!
 We were "those" parents that arrived to the gym almost first just to ensure we had good seats. We selected ones in the opposite corner so we could have an unblocked view of the entire floor. Miss Gail was SO EXCITED! However...
 When her class got up to show off their skills, she remained seated and the show went on. It wasn't until everyone went that I realized she wasn't going to go, so I jumped out of my seat, ran over to the coach and made a big to-do announcing from across the gym after getting her coach's attention that "she hasn't gone yet! She missed her turn!" 
 So lucky mom and dad were able to watch her show off her skills without the other kids getting right in my camera view. And the entire gym was focused on her and her alone. If that didn't get her nerves going more...
 She was so so cute on the balance beam, making sure to make eye contact and smile at us. Heart melted!
 Miss Gail was also one of the few that could hop up onto the bar without assistance. Yay her!
 When she heard there was going to be a medal at the end, she was sold on gymnastics. Fast forward to Sunday morning, when they called her name to go up to receive her participation medal, she sprinted to the front and climbed up to the 1st place platform. 

 She was so excited!
Seriously, can she get any cuter?

Sunday, November 19, 2017

God Has This

As I was painting away again today, I was thinking of all the things I should and need to blog about. There's the laundry room that Perry has been working so hard on for the last several weeks/months, and then there is my bathroom/bedroom project I've been dragging out. Most recently, aside from house projects, we had HD's birthday party. How is he already 9?! I say that every year. I know. But I'm already halfway through raising him. I will not cry. I will not cry...

I've also had a lot on my mind lately. We're hosting Thanksgiving at our house this year, and it will be my first time hosting this holiday. Excitedly nervous. I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing and going to do with work. Working the night shift has a lot of perks, but it also has a lot cons too, so I'm trying to sort through all that. I have some unresolved and resurfaced past trauma I'm trying to work through alone and it's caused a little bit of a strain on my communication and connection with Perry. HD finished up OT earlier this week so I've got insurance on the brain, as we're STILL trying to figure out if all his sessions will be covered. Talk about expensive. I've just got a lot going on in my head and then I'm tired on top of it all.

I got into my car tonight to head to work and I was thinking about how long it had been since we had been to church. Ever since I started working over night, we stopped going because by the time I got home at 7:30, I needed sleep, and 45 minutes wasn't enough to cut it. Powering through lead to me falling asleep during service and having HD elbow me with a stern reprimand so everyone could hear. There's no winning. I want to go, but work... I left for work with God on the brain. I just felt unsettled as I backed out.

I have a led foot when it comes to driving. I'll admit that. I reigned it in when I pulled out onto the main road and came to a stop light where a Sheriff was waiting for the light to change. I followed him down the road several miles and onto the interstate where he kept me going the speed limit for several exits. Had I left for work only 30 seconds sooner, I wouldn't have had to wait at the stop light and I wouldn't have been driving at a slower pace for several miles. I would have missed the whole thing.

I had a little bit of a late start getting off to work, because crawling out of bed at 10pm is so hard when there is a 7 year old snuggling next to you. It is so so hard people. Even with my late start, I was going to make it on time. I watched the clock carefully. And then it happened.

Just one mile before my exit, I witnessed a car side swipe into a semi-truck on the interstate going 75 mph. At least I think that's what happened. Maybe they both just got too close to the centerline. I don't know. My heart sank and my throat was in my stomach. Because it was dark out, I couldn't see much. The sparks from the metal on the car grinding against the metal on the truck seem to last forever and then the car was up off the ground with the passenger side lifted high. I don't believe it flipped. Somehow the car managed to stay upright after slamming back down on the payment before running off the road.

I pulled off to the shoulder immediately as I tried to avoid the glass and bits shattered all over and called 911. I wanted to jump out of my car and run to help but I had no idea what I was going to be getting myself into. By the time I got off the phone, the semi- driver, who had pulled over 100-yards down the road, was at my vehicle and rushing over to the car.

I was hesitant to cross the road to get to the car. What if the person was seriously injured? I am not trained in anything medical related and would have no idea what to do. I can't imagine I'd have fainted at the sight of blood, but there's always that possibility. I was relieved when I spotted the semi- driver and the car driver walking towards me. No blood, no gore. Just a shaken young guy. While the semi- driver went to put up his triangles, I had the young guy warm up in my car, thankful he was uninjured and my car was semi-clean. I just wanted to take him home.

If I would have left any sooner,  I would have missed it but I believe God put me there at the perfect time. No one else stopped. That young guy would have been freezing by the time the police arrived, and they only arrived as soon as they did because I called. The semi-driver was hyper-focused on getting off the road and making sure the other vehicle was okay. I have been in a horrific accident before and while I don't remember anything after hitting my head on the ceiling of the car, I was told there was a lady that sat with me for quite sometime while the ambulances were on their way. Now it was my turn to play that role.

I hope I made him feel less anxious in that moment. That everything was going to be okay. Looking back, I wish I could have done more. I wish I wasn't on my way to work so I could have just taken him to his aunt's house where he was headed. I gave him the blanket out of the back of my car after he was questioned by the officer and left standing outside to freeze. And then I hugged him. Not any of that side-hug business, but really just hugged him and held him tight. It broke my heart to hear him start crying as the adrenaline started to wear off. By that point the officer decided to take the rest of the investigation off the interstate and down to the gas station. He took my info and sent me on my way, but I just wanted to stay with young Brycen.

Often as I'm driving, I think to myself, what would I do if I witnessed an accident? Would I run to help? Keep driving? I guess I'm a moral support kind of person. But I wish I would have helped more. Called 911 as I was going to the vehicle but it was dark out and I needed my phone to be my flashlight before I navigated the dark unknown.  I wish I would have at least given my phone number to him so I could help more if he needed anything. His world was turned upside down and I just wish I could have helped more.

I can't recall any specific moments right now, but I know this wasn't the first time I had an unsettling feeling about something that later just proved God was there the whole time saying, "I've got this and I've got you." I know Thanksgiving will be fine and I'll be able to put my past back into my past. Our medical insurance will get figured out and my genetic testing in January will be fine and if it isn't, I'll still be fine because God has this worked out already.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Autumn Festivities

I always dread Halloween. For one, I don't like masked people. Mascots are a huge no for me, so naturally, Halloween is not a favorite of mine. Secondly, I don't like having to stress about what the kids are going to dress up as.

This year however, Halloween has come and went without much stress to be had. Miss Gail didn't care what she was going to be, and ended up dressing up as something different at every opportunity she had. HD was the easy one. He wanted to be a StormTrooper. There was no amount of convincing him otherwise. Because I wasn't buying a costume or putting together a costume for Miss Gail, I felt I could justify buying him his beloved StormTrooper costume.

JP on the other hand, came with a problem we might never know what caused. He was all in to be a cop and utilize HD's costume from last year. When it came time to put it on, there were so many tears. From what I gathered, he could see his chest when he put the top on, not realizing he had to wear clothes under his costume. I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to get him to put a shirt on under it, to no avail. When we eventually managed to leave the house for our first event, he reluctantly wore his dark blue cop pants, a long sleeved black shirt, and HD's batman mask from a couple years back. Of course the rest of the batman costume was no where to be found. He wonders why I wanted him to try his costume on a few days prior...

When we did make it out of the house to go to the school's Trunk or Treat, I had two very eager, but calm children and one not-so-happy batman. We weren't planning on going to the event, but the kids realized half an hour before it started there was going to be candy there. By the time we actually got to the school, there was only half an hour left, and most of the candy had been given out already. Regardless, they acted like they had never been trick-or-treating before. When we walked up to the parking lot, I literally had to push them up to the first car. Nerves anyone?
Things to note about this picture: This is Miss Gail's back-up princess dress. We got the first one soaking wet while do facials that afternoon. Her shirt is on backwards, but she insists it isn't. We would have been smiling but we had just seen Moana and the boys told her it wasn't the real one. She wanted to meet her but I heard her speaking Spanish, so I'm not sure how that interaction would have went. HD is convinced Storm Troopers never take their helmets off. Even to eat.

 The next morning HD, Miss Gail, and I walked down to the preschool for their Autumn Party. I love how Miss Gail walked around holding up her pant legs! JP stayed home because "I don't need more candy." I think he was still grumbling from the night before.
 We couldn't have had a more perfect day last Saturday. It was gorgeous out! HD wore his mask for most of the walk, and walked just like a Storm Trooper.
 We were one of the first ones to arrive, and again, their nerves were through the roof. The gym had about 10 games set-up and they wanted nothing to do with them. They would have rather I let them stand in the middle of the gym than play any of the games. I did manage to drag them around the gym to try out all the games before heading outside to the bouncey house and other activities.
 I think their favorite game was the cake walk. They would walk around on number while music played and stop on a number when the music stopped playing. If your number was drawn, you'd get a prize from the dessert table. Miss Gail chose a plate of cookies and cupcakes, where as HD chose a large piece of carrot cake. "It's my choice mom."
I love autumn so much. I love how leaves can bring so much joy! And just look at all the colors! Such a beautiful walk home!
 Finally we made it to Halloween where we had a Storm Trooper, a fully dressed and happy Batman, and his sidekick Robin. Batman insisted he get a picture with just his sidekick. He is so sweet to her. I love the relationship they have. Melts my heart!
When it was go-time, the kids sprinted across the street to Al's house. They stood outside for a little bit while my sister and I watched Al sprint through the house to the kitchen to get candy. After going next door to the other neighbor's home, Miss Gail declared, "This is the best day ever!" We made the loop, finishing at "the scary house" before returning home to empty their buckets. On our way up the drive to the house, Robin and I turned around to see a gingerbread man walking creepily up the road towards us. I have no idea where it came from but I wanted nothing to do with it so I shooed the kids up to the door. Once they knocked, the ladies on the other side started scratching at the door. All three kids were frozen. And then the ghost behind them started to play and swooped down toward them. I'm sure they were ready to turn around. After the fact they decided it was the best house ever! 
 Perry had just got back from work as we dumped out our buckets so he came out with us as we walked down to a few more houses before calling it a night around 7:30, afterall I had to get to bed so I could get a little rest before work.
The one thing I enjoy about working the night shift is the extra snuggles I get from my kids. Usually 2 of the 4 nights I go to bed around 6, I have a child join me around 7:30. In this case, it was my little princess-ninja-turtle-Robin who curled up into bed with me. I recall rolling over away from her, only to have her attempt to be the big spoon, as she draped her arm over me. I never want to her grow up!